Fun With Macros

I was going to try to put a semi-serious post on here, but the Blackhawks have made me emo as of late (and I swear I get three grey hairs every time they blow a lead), so fuck it, here's some macros I made:

The first three photos I took at last Wednesday's game (you can see the originals on Flickr) and the last three are via Getty Images.

Now I must stew a little bit more that tomorrow's Blackhawks-Blues game is at 1pm. 1PM?!?!? Some of us have to work *grumble*

Do You Have Polish For My Golf Clubs? The Chicago Blackhawks Through 53 Games

There are 29 games left in the 2010-11 season for the Chicago Blackhawks. If the season ended today, your defending Stanley Cup Champions would be heading to the driving range. They are currently in 11th place in the Western Conference, two spots out of playoff position.

The Hawks started a long 6-game road trip last week - or what I call the "Ice Capades" trip (ok, it's Disney on Ice at the UC, but who cares?). The trip started out fine, with a 7-4 thrashing of the Blue Jackets in the first game after the All Star break. This bodes well, correct? Well as is the hallmark of this season, the only thing consistent about the Blackhawks is their inconsistency. The game last Friday at Vancouver could only be described as extremely frustrating. The Hawks lost 4-3 to the Nucks, in a game that featured a goal that should have counted (Brouwer got called for a phantom inference call against Sarah Bernhardt, err Luongo), a goal that should have been disallowed (the puck clearly left the blue line on the first Nucks goal), a Nick Boynton goal (WTF?), and yet another third period lead by the Hawks blown. As maddening as that game was, I can almost accept it. The Canucks are the best team in the conference (*gag*), and if not for refs with their heads up their collective arses and Bobby Lu standing on his head, the Hawks should have won this one.

Last night's game versus the Flames I cannot accept. Three shots on goal in the first period? 0 for 4 on the power play? Actually if you take in consideration the Nucks game, the Hawks are 0 for their last 9 with the man advantage - thanks Mike Kitchen! Another game in which a third period tie equals zero points against a team ahead of them in the standings? The Hawks have had 14 games where they headed into the last frame tied, and walked out of the building with zero points. There are no words. Actually there are, but I may get arrested if I say them all.

Let's look at the standings, shall we:

The good news is that the Hawks are only 3 points out of a playoff spot. Only 3 points separate the 4th through 8th spots for that matter. They also have games in hand over several teams currently ahead of them. It was pointed out today that in 2009, the Penguins were 27-25-6 with 24 games remaining. They only ended up winning the Cup that season. At this point though, I'm just concerned about the Hawks making the playoffs first. Last season, the 8th spot in the Western Conference had 95 points (Colorado). That would mean the Hawks would need 37 points in their last 29 games. This is certainly attainable - win 19 out of those 29, and you're probably in. But if the Hawks don't get their asses in gear, it's not going to happen.

My not-so-friendly suggestion: follow Mel's three steps below, or else you'll be the first team since the Carolina Hurricanes not make the playoffs the year following winning the big prize.

1. K.I.S.S

Yes, Valentine's Day is coming up (I haven't been single in almost seven years and I still hate this holiday, but anyway), but I'm not talking about smooching. Keep It Simple, Shitheads. Yes, I know the last "S" usually stands for "Stupid", but this is a dire situation. I've lost count how many times in the recent past that the Hawks have had an odd man rush, only to make an extra pass or three and not even get a damn shot on net. I'm not one of those buffoons who sit in the 300-Level who shout SHOOOOOT every time the Hawks touch the puck, but in Jesus' name, if you've got a clear shot at the net, shoot it. Especially when you're losing. Likewise, get some bodies in front of the opposing goalie. The only person who seems to get there with any consistency is Brouwer. Kopecky tries, but he treats the puck like it has an STD and just stabs at it. Defense, stay at home and clear bodies out of your crease. I'm looking at you Mr. Duncan Keith. "Fuck the Power Play," indeed. Speaking of which, if the opponent gets better chances on your power play, can you decline the penalty? And for all that is holy, SOMEBODY WIN A DAMN FACEOFF! That 22 of 51 faceoffs you won versus the Flames is downright pathetic.

2. NO EXCUSES

There no longer is a Stanley Cup hangover. The argument that six players had an extended season what with the Olympics last year? Invalid. The Philadelphia Flyers played more games than us last year and guess what? They're the best team in the Eastern Conference. Whining about all the players who left in the offseason also needs to stop. Burish, Versteeg, Eager and Fraser haven't done much with their current teams, Sure, Sopel & Madden might be good to still have on the team, but how much difference would they have made at this point? I miss Andrew Ladd and his grit, but he was a second liner at best on the Hawks. Byfuglien? He's been ice cold in the new year, and he would have mostly likely stayed at forward if he was still on the team. The Hawks probably miss Niemi the most, but goaltending hasn't really been the issue this year. At most, he probably could have won maybe two or three more games for the Hawks this season. Don't forget, he was also pretty yuck the first couple months of the season. And no more complaining about injuries. *Every* team has to battle through them, and it's up to the players that replace them to step up. This hasn't happened which leads me to...

3. THE BEST PLAYERS HAVE TO PLAY THEIR BEST

Much grumbling has been made about players like Jack Skille, Nick Boynton, John Scott and the like. But they're the fourth liners, the guys with the least amount of ice time. They're not going to put up Crosby-esque numbers. Even Tomas Kopecky, who gets my ire more times than not is having a career year. He has 31 points, which is good for *fourth* most on the Hawks. Let that sink in for a moment. The real issue is our "best" players aren't playing their best. Not by a long shot. Kane and Hossa have 15 and 12 goals respectively - sure they've been hurt, but that's less than one goal in every three games. Patrick Sharp, with all of his scoring, is a woeful -13. Brent Seabrook has more points than Duncan Keith and they've had more defensive gaffes this season than great plays. Even the Captain, Jonathan Toews, only has 19 goals in 51 games. These guys are the faces of this team, the stars. If they don't start pulling their weight, playing with a sense of urgency and start putting the damn puck in the net, then I'm afraid this season is a lost cause. 

Coach Q put the team through a bag skate today. I'd say that was three months overdue, but I'm not even going to start with criticizing the coaching staff, as I'll be here all night, and I need to get some sleep. Tomorrow night's game in Edmonton will tell us a lot about the 2010-11 Blackhawks. Do they come out like this is a playoff game? Do they play like this game really matters? Or do they sleepwalk through 20-30 minutes of the game, expecting that they can win solely on reputation and happy thoughts? Tomorrow is the most important game of this season. Win it, and build on it. Lose it, and start thinking about where you stashed your golf balls. 

Just so everyone doesn't jump off the building, here's a couple nice Toews-Faces to lighten the mood:

(Photo by Gerry Thomas/NHLI via Getty Images)

(Photo by Jeff Vinnick/NHLI via Getty Images)

Bonus points, just for the look on Soupy's face in that second photo!