Monday, April 11, 2011

Game 82, Heart Palpitations & $43.78

They say playing sports are good for the heart. They never mention that watching sports can induce labor, cardiac arrest and an extreme bout of manic depression.

In stark contrast to last year, the Blackhawks' dreams of actively defending their Stanley Cup came down to one point in one game. All they had to do was gain a point in yesterday's tilt with Red Wings and they were in - maybe even as high as a five seed. Lose in regulation and odds were the golf clubs would be out, as the Dallas Stars could tie the Hawks with a regulation or OT win, and take the last spot by virtue of winning the tiebreaker.

I was in Milwaukee Sunday morning, after spending Saturday night at Miller Park with my girlfriend and her parents watching the Cubs lose (as usual). We were on the road shortly before the game started. Thankfully my girlfriend offered to drive home or you might have heard a story on the news about a Honda Fit careening off of 94 shortly after a goal was scored in the game.

The first period was scoreless. I missed going into the newly constructed Mars Cheese Castle so I wouldn't miss a second of the game. I am so dedicated. We were approaching the Chicago 'burbs when Frolik scored to give the Hawks a 1-0 lead in the second. Shortly thereafter the wheels came off. The Wings scored two in quick succession. We got home right before the second ended, and I had barely taken a bite of the falafel I was having for a late lunch when the Wings scored again to take a 3-1 lead early in the third.

I couldn't handle it. This is how the season is going to end? Losing on home ice to our hated rivals when there were SO SO MANY points left on the table throughout the entire season. I flipped to watch something mindless (Major League) and followed the game action on Twitter. I flipped back when the Hawks made it interesting (3-2, then 4-3 because of course, the Wings scored yet again), only to have to turn away after a minute or two. When the Hawks had to take a draw outside the zone with 45 seconds left, I was done. And so was the Blackhawks' 2010-11 season. My heart hurt.

Because there was no way the Minnesota Wild, they of the terrible second half of the season and two full lines of starters injured was going to beat the Dallas Stars. Right?

I sat in my recliner post game in a daze. And angry. SO SO ANGRY. Angry at a team that at times looked liked they couldn't be bothered to care. A team that let so many games slip away in the last period, that if they had just held it together for a few minutes more, their ticket to the postseason would have been punched already. A coaching staff and front office that made so many mind boggling personnel moves during the season that I actively questioned their sanity.

I was also pissed that I would not be getting the $43.78 in Ticketmaster fees from the three playoff games I had purchased refunded. $43.78 for printing out four tickets, stuffing them in an envelope and sending them standard mail. Fuckers.

By the time the Wild-Stars game had started, I had occupied myself by editing photos on my computer. I couldn't bring myself to witness disappointment again, even though the game was on NHL Network. I kept checking my Twitter feed for updates. The Wild scored first - a small glimmer of hope flickered. It was quickly extinguished with two consecutive Stars goals. I glared at my playoff tickets so hard I thought they would burst into flames.

By the time the third period had rolled around, the game was tied at 3. I was basically watching my Twitter feed as I still couldn't bring myself to turn on the TV - I'll jinx it, I thought. I bargained with any deity that would listen. I promised never to badmouth Basil McRae again. And I said I could donate that $43.78 to a Minnesota charity if the Wild could pull this game out. Because I was going to lose it anyway, right?

The Wild scored to make it 4-3 in the third.

At this point, I was convinced I was hallucinating. Or that I would wake up, sitting in the recliner in the living room post Hawks game, willing myself not to cry. The chinese food we had ordered for dinner had arrived at this point, so I sat down in front of the TV for the last five minutes of the game. How my fried rice did not end up on the ceiling is a mystery.

The Stars pulled their goalie. The Wild fans were going...well, wild. And Mel is willing herself not to jump out the open window, pee herself or both.

The Wild scored the ENG to put the game away at 5-3. "YES!" I screamed. "THANK YOU JESUS!" Later, this would be comical to me as the storefront church next door was having services and probably thought I was a church member in the back row speaking in tongues.

A team that had no business winning, who had nothing to play for but pride, booted the Stars right out of the playoffs. And the Chicago Blackhawks, who don't deserve it, have a chance to defend that Stanley Cup that they won in the most magical summer of my life.

Thank you Minnesota Wild. Because of you, the Minnesota AIDS Project is now $43.78 richer.

Bring it, Canucks.

P.S. GAME 82 TOEWS-FACE. FOR OLD TIME'S SAKE!

Bill Smith/NHLI via Getty Images

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